Chased By A Frog Six Feet Tall

Marvelous Adventure of An Upholster of La Salle Steet

Robert Oakley, an upholsterer, was found by an officer tearing La Salle street Chicago like a hunted deer. Oakley told Justice Richardson he had been pursued by a frog 6 feet tall, which croaked as loud as a peal of thunder and had eyes as large and fierce as searchlights.

“I don’t care if I did violate an ordinance. I would violate every ordinance in the criminal code before I’d serve as a meal for any four-legged monster. Just think of it; the green-eyed creature walked right down La Salle street on his hind feet in broad daylight. It laid its front foot on my shoulder and spoke. I didn’t wait to hear what it said, and if I hadn’t had a pair of legs I’d be clogging its digestive apparatus by now, instead of standing before this honorable court. No, sirree,” he continued: “I intend to follow the trade of an upholsterer for some time, and when my time has come I hope I’ll not be obliged to serve as upholstering
to a frog’s stomach.”

The officer who arrested Oakley explained that for some days a man dressed as a frog had been promenading the street advertising some new brand of medicine.

“This prisoner saw the frog,” said the officer, “and his guilty conscience — some say jimjams — caused him to take flight.”

Justice Richardson discharged the man, with a warning to keep away from La Salle street and medicine advertisers or else stay sober.Fort Covington [New York] Sun, December 26, 1895

FYI, “jimjams” is slang for delirium tremens.

Thanks to Jerome Clark.

Read the real stuff, coming, April 24th – Mysterious America.